A More Tangled Web
by ordinaryguy2
Summary: An answer to the challenge of where and when some of the drunken Klingons from A TANGLED WEB may have ended up to. Some surprising Xovers. Please review. Written entirely by Carycomic with Ordinaryguy2's blessing.
1. Chapter 1

**A MORE TANGLED WEB**

_By story is the result of a challenge as to where some of the missing Klingons had inadvertently traveled to in A TANGLED WEB 7 Chapter 2._

**Written by Carycomic with Ordinaryguy2's blessing**

**"Once Upon A Time, On A Subway"**

**NEW YORK CITY, 1977**

The man calling himself "Mr. Spender" lit what must have been his third cigarette in as many minutes. He looked at his wristwatch, and saw that it was nearly three o'clock in the morning.

"Funny how everything seems to work in threes. Don't it?"

Spender turned and looked at the well-dressed young black man standing behind him.

"You're late, Mr. Trick."

"Better than being the late Mr. Trick!"

"Come, again?"

"I've had a Slayer doggin' my ass, every night, for the past week. My ex-wife's great-granddaughter, no less! So, I arranged for some back-up, before coming here."

"You mean, him?"

Spender indicated the only other person on the subway platform. A fellow chain-smoker, roughly twenty-one years of age, with spiked, bleached-blonde hair. And, a wardrobe consisting of nothing more than a black vest, brown pants, and green army boots.

"He arrived just before you did. Who's he supposed to be; David Bowie, Junior?"

"Don't let the ensemble fool you. He's already got one Slayer to his credit. Back at the turn of the century!"

"Fine, fine. Whatever. Here's our train."

The duo boarded the last car, which was also the emptiest. And, as the train pulled out, Mr. Trick unlatched the brief case he was carrying. From within, he removed a beige folder almost overflowing with paper.

"What do you have for me?" asked Spender.

"You mean; besides the utmost admiration? Not much. Wolfram and Hart checked all their records. But, they have no record of any vampire or demon answering this description."

He held up the photographic blow-up of an angry-looking being with a walrus moustache; a high-ridged forehead; and a virtual mane of long brown hair.

"What about your other branches?"

"Still workin' on it. But, quite frankly? It's starting to look more and more like he's from way up there. As a matter of fact; I personally think he sort of resembles one of those old 'Star Trek' aliens. The Cling-to's, or whatever? Except, on the show, they had sort-of blue skin and curly hair."

"You watch too much television! What about the other one?"

"Well...?"

Whatever the vampiric informant had been about to say was cut off by the slamming open of the subway car door to their right. Standing there was a young black woman in a trench coat, over a black blouse and matching slacks.

"Patrick Raymond!" she shouted, pointing an accusatory wooden stake at Mr. Trick.

"Oh, shit!" chorused both men.

It was at that moment that the young woman went flying to the other end of the car. Pushed from behind by the hired bodyguard.

" Hello, 'ello, 'ello! What do we have, here?"

The Slayer, who had already jumped back to her feet, scowled at the intruder.

"You been watchin' too many old movies, slimey."

"They were all new releases when I first saw 'em, sweet meat."

Messrs. Trick and Spender used this interchange to slowly position themselves behind the bodyguard. The latter partially turned his head to address them.

"Get lost, you wankers. Now!"

They needed no further urging. In less than a minute, the English vampire and the Slayer were the only ones in the car.

"You gonna pay for buttin' in, suck-head," growled Nikki Wood.

"Then, what you waiting' for, love?" replied William the Bloody: "Let's get this party started!"

By the time the train reached its last stop of the night, William had doubled his credit.

**Enjoy!---Carycomic**

_The name I gave Mr. Trick was a subtle reference to an ex-girlfriend of Lord Bowler's on THE ADVENTURES OF BRISCO COUNTY, JR. Her name was "Lenore Raymond," and she had married an old 9th Cavalry buddy of his._

_Mr. Trick, Nikki Wood and Spike are from Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

_The Cigarette Smoking Man is from The X-Files_


	2. Chapter 2

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY (1977)

Professor Albus Dumbledore had seen and done a lot in his time. So, he was considered pretty unflappable, as a rule. But, what he saw right now proved even that rule had an exception!

"How did you come by them, Hagrid?"

"Well, y'see, sir. It were like this. Professor Kettleburn asked me to substitute for him whilst he was away at that American magical school. So, I took the first-years on a glass-bottom boat tour of the lake, so's they could catch a glimpse of real-live merfolk and grindylows. Then, just as we were about to dock, at the end o' class, there's this big thunderclap. Followed by this big portal openin' in mid-air. And, lo n' behold, these two falls outta it and into the shallows. Ker-splash!"

"Most extraordinary!" replied Dumbledore: "I sense no mystical auras about them. Yet, they are clearly not of this Earth. I suggest we contact the Ministry of Magic about them. In the meantime, though, we should we get them to the infirmary and have Pompey tend to their medical needs., post-haste. Would you be so kind, Hagrid?"

"Certainly, sir!" replied the amiable half-giant. Whereupon, he carried the two strangers up the hill, slung over each of his massive shoulders in a fireman's carry.

LONDON HOUSE (SIX HOURS LATER)

Roger Wyndham-Price, Ruling Precept of the Legacy, made the introductions as his three guests sat down before his desk, in his private study.

"To my left is Quentin Travers; my newly-appointed successor as Chairman of the Watchers' Council. To my right is Robert McCall; CIA/Legacy liaison. And, before me? Professor Bernard Quatermass; scientific advisor to the Ministry of Defense."

"Quatermass?" echoed McCall. "The same one who worked with London House on that Hobbs' End business?"

The bushy-bearded scientist smiled and nodded.

"Right, then," said Wyndham-Price: "To the matter at hand. Quentin? What do you make of the long-haired chap?"

"Well, despite wearing a breastplate similar to the Three, he's definitely not a vampire of the Aurelian Order. Or, any other known subspecies of bloodsucker, for that matter!"

"McCall! Could he be a member of the Order of Teraka, bio-genetically altered by the Soviets?"

"Perhaps. The KGB is certainly the Order of Teraka's favorite customer. Although, the former might still have to pay twice the going rate to get one of that lot to willingly be a guinea pig!"

"Keep digging. Professor? What of the robotic-looking one?"

"Your friends at the M.O.M. were quite right to bring him to our attention. Definitely a cybernetic organism of some kind! Any further analysis, however, will require facilities more advanced than mine. That's why I took the liberty of contacting the American branch of UNIT. To see if I could get access to that hush-hush lab of theirs in the Nevada desert."

"And, their response, if any?"

"They're sending one of their operatives--a Thomas Remington Sloan III---to meet with me."

"I've heard of him," said McCall: "Very sharp! You should probably consider him on a 'need-to-know' basis, right off the bat."

Just then, the clock on the mantle of the study's fireplace chimed four times.

"Good Heavens!" exclaimed Wyndham-Price: "Tea time, already? Brief adjournment, gentlemen."

The preceding is just to show how the Klingon and the Borg came to Cancer Man's attention, in the first place. I don't intend to do a full-fledged story arc around it, as I have a plate load of stories I'm already working on at another fanfic site. So, thanks again, guy.

From Carycomic


	3. Chapter 3

AREA 51, NEVADA DESERT, 1977

The klaxons were near deafening as Thomas Remington Sloane III brought all his martial arts training to bear. Yet, even with the help of his partner Torque (and the latter's bionic right arm), restraining the bearded alien humanoid between them was proving a difficult task. He was almost as tall as Torque, and just about as strong as both of them put together!

"Doctor! Where's that sedative?"

Dr. Helena Russell came rushing in, with a foot-long hypodermic needle.

"Here goes nothing!"

The bearded alien humanoid screamed in outraged pain as the doctor's needle went right into its posterior. A moment later, it collapsed in the arms of the two American UNIT agents. Only then were the alarms turned off.

"Take him back to his cell," said Sloane to the guards: "And, this time, use triple-strength restraints!"

"Yes, sir!" chorused the guards. All six of them carrying the alien with noticeable effort.

Once they were out of earshot, Sloane turned to Dr. Russell and inquired about the other odd prisoner they had been sent from England. She shook her head.

"We couldn't get past its personal force field. Instead, it activated some kind of rift in mid-air, and half-jumped/half-fell into it!"

"A pity," replied Sloane: "Reverse-engineering the technology of its prosthetics could have given us..."

The good doctor, seeing he was at a loss for words, tried to help him out.

"A lunar colony by the turn of the century, maybe?"

Sloane gave her the same smile that he had used to melt the hearts of most other women he had met.

"No need to be sarcastic, Doc."

Meanwhile, the Borg drone "slid" through the interdimensional wormhole, trying its best to get home to the Collective. It was doomed to be disappointed, however. Despite such emotions being "irrelevant."

Part 2

Pugsley and Tabitha Addams were moon-bathing atop Devil's Tower, in Wyoming. Just two young newlyweds, basking in the joy each other's presence. Then, suddenly, it happened.

BOOM!

A veritable hole appeared in the sky above them. And, from out of it, fell something with the vague outline of a man!

The newlyweds just barely rolled apart, in time, as the strange object/creature crash-landed between them. When the rock dust had settled, they looked down at it. Then, looking at each other, they simultaneously nodded before rolling it over.

"What you think it is?" asked Tabitha.

"It looks half-human/half-robot," replied her husband.

"What do you think we should do?"

Pugsley thought it over for a few moments, teething on the light bulb his Uncle Fester had given him as a wedding present. Then, suddenly, the light bulb started flashing!

"I've got it!" he exclaimed, with a Cheshire cat grin, as he removed the bulb: "Twitch us to Eddie and Wednesday's house. If anyone is smart enough to make sense of this thing, it's my brother-in-law's grandfather!"

A MAN CALLED SLOANE was a one-season wonder, on NBC, during the 1979/80 season. It starred Robert Conrad (the original Jim West) as T.R. Sloane III; and Ji-Tu Cumbuka as Torque (a right-hand man with a robotic right hand).

SPACE: 1999 was the syndicated British answer to STAR TREK. Running 1975-77, it starred Martin Landau as Commander John Koenig (C.O. of Moonbase Alpha), and his real-life wife Barbara Bain as Dr. Helena Russell (CMO).

If I need to tell you Tabitha Addams' maiden name, you really need a refresher course in pop-culture!


	4. Chapter 4

JFK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,  
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (1981)

Peter Parker had initially thought it would be boring, taking pictures of the infamous Robert Kinsey arriving in Manhattan, to campaign for the Presidency of the United States.

"The man's only served two terms as a U.S. Senator!" he had exclaimed to Glory Grant (personal secretary to J. Jonah Jameson, owner/publisher of THE DAILY BUGLE): "He's a 'dark horse' candidate, to say the least.

"He's also JJJ's ex-frat brother, from college," Glory reminded him: "So, we have to make him look good for the front page of the next edition."

"What do you mean 'we...?' " Peter began

"Don't you dare call me 'paleface!' " she interrupted, threatening to hit him with a rolled-up copy of the previous day's edition.

The two co-workers laughed, and Peter left for the airport.

Now, the speech that had been threatening to be the perfect cure for insomnia was no longer of any concern. Because, for lack of a better term, a hole had suddenly appeared out of thin air!

And, from out of it dropped the weirdest-looking person the young photojournalist had ever seen.

INTER-AGENCY DEFENSE COMMAND,  
WASHINGTON, DC (15 MIN. LATER)

Colonel Steven Trevor, Jr. rushed into Diana Prince's office, and told her to drop whatever she was doing.

"What's the matter?" she asked, as she boarded the elevator to the rooftop helipad.

"A top-flight emergency. Literally! Senator Kinsey's plane was just hijacked at JFK!!!"

"Hijacked? By whom; terrorists?"

"Nope! By what one witness described as (and I quote) '...the Tin Man of Oz, wearing Christmas lights.' End quote!"

GREENWICH VILLAGE, MANHATTAN

Thomas Lindmer was helping his new pupil, Dr. Stephen Strange, practice transcendental meditation when they both opened their eyes.

"Master, did you...?"

"Yes, I sensed it, too. Something extra-dimensional has arrived on Earth."

"Ancient One! Dr. Strange! Come here, quickly."

Such was the urgency in Wong's voice that Lindmer did not even bother to reprimand him for still using that embarrassingly melodramatic nickname. The two mages rushed to the living room, and saw Wong pointing at the TV screen.

It was a live telecast of a riot that had broken out at JFK International Airport, following the materialization of some kind of armored humanoid. A humanoid that had Senator Kinsey by the scruff of the neck in its left hand. While fending off police--and the wall-crawling vigilante Spiderman--with some kind of machine gun in its right.

Suddenly, Dr. Strange did a double-take.

"It's whole right arm is a machine gun!"

For the first time since being assimilated, the former Iotian gangster had to think for himself.

"This one...must find...a trans...mitter. This one...must contact... the nearest...Borg...vessel. You...will come...with this...one. You...will serve...as guide."

The moment the drone grabbed the would-be President by the scruff of his neck, the Secret Servicemen accompanying him went into action.

"You're not taking him anywhere, Tobor! Release Senator Kinsey. Now!"

Recognizing the objects being pointed at him as semi-automatic pistols, the former Iotian gangster reacted per his basic programming.

"This one...must...rejoin...the Collective. Do not...seek...to stop...this one. Resistance...is...futile."

Whereupon, the drone converted its right arm into a 24th-century semblance of a tommy gun.

**tbc**

Nicholas Hammond played Peter Parker on the live-action CBS version of SPIDER-MAN from 1976-79. While Peter Hooten played Marvel's Master of the Mystic Arts in a 1978 TV-movie that co-starred Clyde Kusatsu (as a suit-and-tie-wearing Wong) and the late, great Sir John Mills as Thomas "the Ancient One" Lindmer. Lynda Carter, of course, started out as the Golden Age Wonder Woman on ABC, prior to moving thirty years into the future on CBS (1975-79). With co-star Lyle Waggoner portraying both versions of Steve Trevor!


	5. Chapter 5

**JFK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT (1981)  
**  
The moment the shooting started, by-standers starting screaming and running about. Peter Parker immediately used that mass confusion to find a relatively secluded place to change into his Spiderman outfit. Unfortunately, the best he could do was the top of the exit chute for the baggage claim carousel. And, it taxed his already-screaming "spidey sense" to the limit, having to dodge incoming suitcases!

As a result, by the time he returned to the arrival gate (where Senator Kinsey had been making his speech about the 1984 Presidency), the airport police and the surviving Secret Service bodyguards were engaged in a shoot-out with Kinsey's captor. A shoot-out they seemed to be losing. For, while the cyborg's bullets were all on target, none of their bullets were reaching him, due to its built-in deflector screen.

So, Spidey tried to lend a hand by using his superhuman agility to land on the tarmac, next to the debarkation stairway. He then shot some webbing upwards, intending to snag the senator by his left arm, and pull him down out of harm's way. The Borg drone sensed this, however, and turned his pseudo-Iotian tommy gun on Spidey!

The webslinger was forced to hand-spring backwards to avoid the fusillade of bullets that trailed after him.

It was at this point that the drone's left arm imbedded the nano-probe injection tubule into the back of Kinsey's neck. Almost instantly, the terrified senator stopped struggling. This was followed by a vacant expression appearing on his face, and the transformation of his complexion to an ashen-gray.

"You...are now...the first...adjunct...in a...new...Collective. You...will take...this one... to... a suit...ably...powerful...transmitter. To...contact...the nearest...cube ship...of... the Borg."

"I...know...of one...in...New Mexico," replied Kinsey: "Near...town of...Socorro."

Whereupon, the assimilated Iotian dragged his new adjunct back aboard the plane, and nano-injected the pilot and co-pilot.

"Adjuncts 2...and 3. You...will fly... us to... region... of... New Mexico... where... transmitter... is... located. Desig...nation?"

The Borg looked at the senator as he demanded this.

"Very...Large...Array. Plains...of...San Augustin."

Ten minutes later, the plane took off, ignoring all orders from the control tower to turn back.

**IADC HEADQUARTERS, WASHINGTON, DC (1981)  
**  
The Bell JetRanger took off, bound for Dulles International Airport and the Learjet awaiting Steve Trevor, Jr. and Diana Prince. The two agents sat in the rear, conversing via headphones because of the noise from the rotors.

"Could this be some form of android, similar to the ones used by Dr. Solano?" asked Diana.

Steve shook his head: "According to Ira, it's more of a cyborg. A living being with computerized prosthetic limbs. Aside from that, even he's stumped as to where it came from!"

"Ira" was the in-house nickname for the I.R.A.C. 2000. The prototype A.I. that handled most of the deductive profiling required by--and of--the IADC. And, if even "he" was at a loss to explain this cyborg, that was going to make it all the more difficult to rescue Senator Kinsey.

"Do we, at least, know which way the senator's 707 is headed?"

Steve nodded: "Due west. Exactly where, is still anybody's guess. The best we can do is catch up to it as fast as possible. Which makes me wish for the millionth time that I knew where Wonder Woman hangs out! So, I could personally contact her in these situations, right off the bat."

Before Diana could offer him reassurance, she vanished from the back seat of the helicopter in a flash of white light!

When she rematerialized, she found herself in a dimly-lit room, in her Wonder Woman garb. With an elderly gentleman in a verdant hooded robe standing next to her. And, when he lowered the hood, she gasped in recognition.

"Jethro? Jethro Dumont! Is that you?"

The former Green Lama smiled: "Not for some time, Your Highness. Nowadays, I'm just plain old 'Thomas Lindmer.' Allow me to introduce my student, and self-appointed 'mother hen,' Wong."

A well-dressed young man standing next to Lindmer bowed.

"I am honored! Many times, when I was a boy, my grandfather Tsarong would regale me with the tale of how you helped the Ancient One fight and defeat the so-called 'Modern Achilles.' "

"It was more like the other way around," Diana replied, modestly: "But, thank you, just the same."

Then, she noticed a third person in the room. A Caucasian man--roughly the same age as Wong--with brown hair and matching moustache. He was dressed all in blue, and meditating in a yoga lotus position.

"My protégé," said Lindmer: "Dr. Stephen Strange. He's following the hijacked 707 in astral form. Hoping to get a better idea of what we'll be dealing with."

"We?" she echoed.

"You must have seen the TV news footage of that protective field of energy it has. I doubt even your prodigiously strong punches could penetrate it, unaided!"

Before Wonder Woman could formulate a rebuttal, Dr. Strange opened his eyes.

"Master! You're not going to believe this. But, Spiderman is aboard that plane!"

** tbc **

_"The Modern Achilles" was a 1954 fable published by Prize Comics in "Frankenstein Comics # 29." It dealt with a small-time crook who becomes as powerful as Greek namesake, only to meet a roughly similar fate during a crime spree. Thanks to "Cash Gorman's Golden Age Villain Encyclopedia" website for that one._

"The Green Lama" (like the legendary Shadow) started out as a pulp magazine crimefighter before getting into comics. He was secretly Jethro Dumont, a wealthy young American who had studied Tibetan Buddhism, post-WWI. And, he could become the superhuman Green Lama by reciting the classic chant: "Om mani padme hum."

Unfortunately, the costume Prize Comics depicted him as wearing made him look like a cross between Superman and Peter Pan! A classic case of driving without an artistic license. 


	6. Chapter 6

**PART 1**

SOMEWHERE OVER OHIO (1981)

Spidey had been driven beneath Senator Kinsey's plane by the hail of bullets being fired the cyborg. And, seeing that the direct approach was not going to work, he decided to climb into the 707 via one of the landing gear assemblies. From there, he would infiltrate the avionics bay, climb up into the cockpit, and overpower Kinsey's captor from behind.

That had been his plan, anyway.

Unfortunately, while still only halfway through the cargo hold, his "spider-sense" had started tingling again. This was followed by the sudden materialization of another weird humanoid being. A taller one, with long brown hair; a walrus moustache; a goatee; and, a bony forehead more wrinkled than a California raisin! And, when it got to its feet, it saw Spidey and growled something unintelligible, at him. When the webslinger did not reply, the new arrival whipped out some kind of dagger! A lethal-looking thing that seemed to be half-switchblade/half-barber shears.

"Now, hold on there, big fella! I don't who you are, or where you came from. But, I have no beef with you."

His attempt at diplomacy, however, only resulted in the shouting of some high-pitched battlecry. Followed by a charge worthy of an NFL defensive tackle. If not for his arachnid-esque agility, Spidey would have been skewered by the humanoid's dagger on the first try. To say nothing of all the subsequent attempts (which ceased only when the 707 began moving)!.

Spidey's opponent was distracted enough by it that he looked away for a moment. Giving the wall-crawler ample opportunity to knock him out from the side with a right hook.

"OWWW!" he exclaimed: "This guy must have a 'brass' jaw!"

He massaged his aching knuckles for a moment more. He then bound the unconscious humanoid with all the webbing fluid he could spare without refilling. Hoping against hope that that would be sufficient. Following which, he continued on towards the avionics bay.

When he got there, he heard the cyborg talking with Senator Kinsey. And, the latter was using the same monotoned voice as the former. A fact that did not bode well, judging by the renewed tingling of his spider-sense. So, he prepared himself to leap up through the trap door and web-sling first/ask questions afterward.

He never got the chance, however, as he was suddenly knocked to the floor of the avionics bay by what felt like a guided missile! Such was the comparison he mentally made before blacking out, anyway.

When regained consciousness, he saw three men standing over him. One appeared to be in his mid-forties, with black hair (just starting to go gray), brown eyes, and a sort-of brown suit that looked like it dated back to the Great Depression. Perhaps, even further.

To the right was a younger man. Also, with black hair; but, wearing a green turtleneck and black slacks. While the third man, standing to the far left, had blonde curly hair and a Victorian-looking tuxedo.

The first man introduced them all.

"My name is Dr. Douglas Phillips. This is my colleague, Dr. Anthony Newman. And, this is Mr. Nicholas Knight. I don't mean to alarm you, sir. But, could you tell us where we are...and, what year it is?"

**PART 2**

Tony Newman had been a child prodigy. Born in 1938, he was talking and behaving like a seven-year old by the age of three. And, by age twenty, he was a fully certified science teacher at his father's hometown high school.

Unfortunately, his father never lived to see that. Commander Joseph Newman, USN, was among the hundreds of people killed at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. With his body never being found.

Though he never said anything aloud, during the seven-out-of-ten years they had worked together, striving to bring the Time Tunnel on-line, Doug Phillips always suspected that Tony's near-obsessive dedication to the project was probably based on the hope that it would help retroactively reconcile him with his father.

In that regard, the Time Tunnel ultimately proved a success.

As for their friends and co-workers back at Project Tic-Toc? They monitored each and every one of Doug and Tony's unusual adventures in an equally unusual fashion.

Prior to entering the tunnel (and the wormhole generated by it), the two scientists had each been doused with a blue mist. This mist was actually an atomized solution of distilled water and Iodine-131. Specifically; one drop of the latter per million of the former.

The radioactive emissions from the iodine were converted into faster-than-light particles, called tachyons, in the timestream. But, upon reaching the control room at Project Tic-Toc, they reverted to their original state, becoming easily detectable by the Geiger counters built into the main computer.

The computer would backtrack the emissions; calculate Doug and Tony's latest when-and-where; and, then, bring it to audiovisual life as a veritable curtain of holographic images. In this case, their most recent adventure had occurred in the harbor town of Cliffport, Maine circa 1978. And, it had involved an extra-terrestrial plot to deplete Earth's atmosphere!

Narrowly thwarting it, they had dematerialized (as usual), only to wind up back at the site of their first adventure. Namely; aboard the ill-fated TITANIC on April 15, 1912. Yet, even worse than that...was the fact they were there simultaneous with their past selves!

"What happens if all four counterparts run into each other?" General Heywood Kirk (the project's military administrator) had asked.

"Theoretically?" Dr. Raymond Swain (the scientific co-director) had replied: "They might cancel each other out. As violently as matter colliding with anti-matter!"

Fortunately, this thought had already occurred to Doug and Tony. They avoided their past selves like the plague until history caught up with that pair. Then, and only then, did they worry about getting off the TITANIC a second time.

In this regard, they had a little help.

They followed a young couple, named Jack and Rose, to the stern of the ship (which was now sticking straight upward). And, they waited until it actually began sinking before jumping off. Jumping with--and almost right on top of--them was Nick Knight. An Englishman who had recently been given "the Black Buddha." A supposedly magical talisman.

As he had neared the surface of the cold Atlantic, he had instinctively wished he could land anywhere else but. And, so he did! It just strained his credulity to learn that he also landed nearly eighty years in the future.

"There's no such thing as 'time travel,' " he growled.

"Normally," replied Spidey: "I'd agree with you. But, today? Anything seems possible!"

_Thirty years before James Darren achieved STAR TREK immortality as "Vic Fontaine" (and forty years before NBC came up with JOURNEYMAN), THE TIME TUNNEL was run on ABC from 1966-67. The shortest-lived brainchild of the legendary Irwin Allen. _

_James Darren played "Tony;" Robert Colbert played "Doug;" and the series premiere had them trying to convince the captain of the TITANIC (played by Michael "Klaatu" Rennie) about the imminent collision with that iceberg. _

_Fans of versatile Geraint Wyn Davies, of course, already know that he played an eight-hundred-year old vampire trying to make amends, by working as a nightshift homicide detective, on FOREVER KNIGHT (1992-95). And, I really don't have to explain the "Jack and Rose" reference. Do I?_

_ "Can you say; 'MOONLIGHT' is a rip-off?' I knew you couldn't. Mr. Rogers was just messing with your heads."_


	7. Chapter 7

_This is the mosted twisted one, yet._

**PART 1  
**  
**THE PHANTOM NARRATOR:** As we saw last time, a Borg-assimilated Iotian had traveled to the New York City of a parallel-Earth, where it wound up hijacking the privately-chartered jet of Sen. Robert Kinsey (Presidential aspirant). The Amazing Spiderman tried twice to prevent this, but failed. His second attempt inadvertently thwarted by a time-traveling Klingon

Now, he has been joined in the avionics bay, beneath the plane's cockpit, by three more time travelers: one of them an 800-hundred-year old vampire named Nick Knight!

In addition, they are being followed by the astral body of Dr. Stephen Strange, who is spying on them for his mentor, Thomas "the Ancient One" Lindmer. Formerly known as "the Green Lama," he has volunteered to magically enhance the planned rescue of Senator Kinsey by the legendary Wonder Woman. 

It is the plan of this galvanized ex-gangster to contact the Borg of this parallel-universe from a radio telescope in the New Mexican desert. What he does not yet know, however, is that Adjunct 2--the nanite-infected chief pilot of the hijacked 707--is actually Capt. Peter Peachfuzz, Jr. Son of Admiral "Wrong-way Pete" Peachfuzz; the most navigationally-impaired officer in the U.S. Navy!

Fortunately, for PJ (as his friends call him), he had inherited his mother's sense of direction. Unfortunately, the Borg nanites have suppressed that, along with his free will. The result being that the hijacked plane is now starting to veer towards the northwest. Specifically; towards the small, unsuspecting town of...Frostbite Falls, Minnesota!

**PART 2**

**GREENWICH VILLAGE, NYC (1981)  
**  
"Whatever he was planning," said Dr. Strange, in conclusion: "...he's now unable to carry it out."

"And, these three other strangers who materialized out of nowhere," replied Thomas Lindmer: "They lack the extra-dimensional aura of that cyborg, and the webbed-up warrior?"

"Yes, Master. Whatever the power source for their teleportation, it's definitely from this universe."

"Well, no matter. Right now, our first priority is to get you aboard that jetliner, Your Highness."

"Just a minute, Jethro!" the Amazing Amazon admonished: "What about Steve? You made me disappear from the helicopter, right in front of him. He must be having every agent he can spare scouring all of Washington for me!"

"Not to worry," said the ex-Green Lama: "I already have that covered."

** SOMEWHERE OVER WEST VIRGINIA  
**  
Christopher Chance, grandson of George Chance, had handled a lot of tough assignments since first becoming "the Human Target (bodyguard extraordinaire)." But, as sat aboard the Learjet, listening to this Col. Trevor rattle on and on about "options and contingencies," he swore to himself that he would never again--no matter how old the family friend requesting it--use his mastery of disguise to PERSONALLY IMPERSONATE A WOMAN!

Meanwhile, the Ancient One and Dr. Strange began chanting a spell in a language that sounded like Latin. But, which she suspected was a lot older. The next thing she knew, Wonder Woman was aboard the hijacked 707. Specifically, the ladies' room.

"Same old Jethro," she thought to herself, smilingly: "Chivalrous to the end."

She then emerged from the rest room, and saw that she was in what would have been the coach section, if this had been a commercial airliner. So, she began walking forward, towards the cockpit. When the Iotian drone saw her coming, it raised its fire "arm," and commanded her to halt.

"You seek...to keep...this one...from...reconnecting...with...the Collective? You...shall not...succeed."

"Wherever you're from, can't we negotiate a peaceful resolution to this situation?"

"Negoti...ation...is...irrelevant."

The drone then began to open fire, causing Wonder Woman to use her old reliable "bullets-and-bracelets" routine. Careful, of course, to make sure that each bullet she deflected wound up hitting the surrounding seats, rather than the walls or windows of the still-pressurized interior.

Finally, the drone ceased firing, and tilted its head in puzzlement.

"Your...celerity...is...abnormal...for...a human. What...species...are you?"

"I'm an Amazon."

"Nomenclature...unknown. You...will be...assimilated...to broaden...the Collective's...database."

"If that means what I think it does, then I'll have to decline as 'not interested.' "

"Interest...is...irrelevant."

Before Wonder Woman could utter another retort, she found herself being attacked from behind with the cold fumes from a fire extinguisher! Momentarily blinded and coughing, as a result, she did not see the Borg-infected Senator Kinsey knock her out with the metal tank a moment later.

**NOTES**

_George Chance started out in the pulp magazines as a crime-fighting stage magician, nicknamed "the Ghost" (later, "the Green Ghost"). Then, like the Shadow and the Green Lama, he moved to comic books. In this case, the now-defunct Nedor Comics, where he fought supernatural evil a la Dr. Fate._

_Christopher Chance, "the Human Target," started out as a back-up feature in DC's ACTION COMICS, back in the 1970's. He became a two-hour ABC TV movie, starring Rick Springfield in the title role, in the mid-1980's. In both formats, he was a professional bodyguard whose specialty was impersonating clients targeted for death. A vocation bitter sweetly inspired by the murder of his father, before his very eyes, when he was a boy._

_Of course, most everyone knows that Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, is where Rocky and Bullwinkle live. And, that the rapid-fire voice of their phantom narrator belonged to the late, great Wm. Conrad (CANNON//JAKE AND THE FATMAN)._


	8. Chapter 8

_A gentle reminder to all our readers: neither I, nor o.g.2, own any of the recognizable characters or concepts in these stories. So, let the craziness continue!---__**Carycomic**__  
_  
** SOMEWHERE OVER LAKE MICHIGAN (1981)  
**  
Nick Knight was about to continue the "con" side of the time travel argument, when his nose (and Spidey's "spider sense") alerted him to someone behind him.

"Xindi pa'tak!" roared the Klingon, finally free of his web-like bonds. And, brandishing the d'k'tahg that had helped him do it. Before the webslinger could rise to his own defense, however, the tuxedo-clad Englishman beat him to it. With a burst of speed that astonished everyone (including Spidey, himself)!

In less time than it takes to tell, the Klingon found himself pinned to the right-hand wall of the jetliner's cargo hold. With the so-called "human" responsible using nothing more than his left hand!

Nick had had enough, and he immediately went into vampire mode, his blue eyes turning a fiery orange-red as he hypnotized the Klingon into submission.

"Do you speak English?"

"I speak Federation Basic." Nick was mystified by that reference. But, he decided to ignore, for the moment. Instead, he asked his mesmerized captive who and what he was.

"Koltar, son of Yl'gu. A Klingon, from Sherman's Planet. In what you would call 'the 24th century.' "

Nick wanted to deny it, just as he had initially had. But, this Koltar was completely enthralled. There was no way he could being lying to him! So, he asked about the cyborg that had hijacked the 707, and Senator Kinsey with it.

The gibberish that followed--involving parallel universes and alternate space/time continua--became too much for him. And, he ordered the Klingon to shut up, before depositing him (none too gently) to the floor.

Just as he was about to apologize to Doug Phillips and Tony Newman, however, a new sound interrupted him. A sound he had first heard during the American War Between the States.

Machine gun fire!

**PART 2**

**THE PHANTOM NARRATOR:** Meanwhile, in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, the local Moose Lodge (Bullwinkle J. Moose, pres.) was sponsoring a fundraising charity event on behalf of the Notah Republic. Formerly known as "Ile Moreau," its anthropomorphic inhabitants had recently gained their independence from the rest of French Polynesia. Unfortunately, the United Nations had yet to recognize the new government.

So, a benefit concert was now being held to draw public attention to the fledgling nation. With the opening act being none other than that sensational rock n' roll trio: the Impossibles!

The audience (holding aloft signs that read "Talking Animals Are People, Too") hollered and cheered, prompting at least three encores by the legendary group. That is; until even their most die-hard fans became too hoarse to do so. Which was fortuitous, because--at that moment--a small beeping sound began emanating from a small television screen at the tail end of the lead singer's guitar.

"Quiet, fellas," urged the latter (a short and stocky man with blonde hair): "It's Big D calling!"

No sooner had he said this than a white-haired man with a very stoic expression appeared on the screen.

"Sorry to do this to you, boys. But, your country needs you, once more. The 707 which has been serving as Senator Kinsey's mobile campaign headquarters has been hijacked. And, the Inter-Agency Defense Command is calling in all operatives to resolve the situation."

"What's its present course, Big D?" asked the tall, thin carrot-top.

"If there are no further deviations, it should be reaching Sheboygan, Wisconsin, in another twenty minutes."

"Others might need more time than that," replied the bass guitarist (whose black hair looked like a cross between an Afro and a beehive): "But, that's nothing for the Impossibles!"

Whereupon, an orange-and-blue-spiral appeared behind the trio. Stepping into it, they emerged moments later wearing costumes and masks that Rocky the Flying Squirrel (who had come backstage seeking their autographs) immediately recognized.

"Hokey Smoke, Bullwinkle! The singing Impossibles are really the crime-fighting Impossibles!"

Yes, it was true. The lead singer (now clad in purple, with a white capital "c" on his chest) was the springy-limbed...COIL MAN.

"Rally-ho!"

The dark-haired bass guitarist (now clad in a yellow diving suit with a green capital "f" on his chest) was the ever-thirsty-for-justice...FLUID MAN.

"Rally ho-ho!"

Last, but not least? The carrot-topped acoustical guitarist (now clad in red-and-black, and bearing a black shield with a white capital "m" on it) emerged as that human duplicating machine called...MULTI-MAN.

"RRRRRally-HO!"

And, with that, their bandstand instantly converted itself into their versatile Impossi-mobile. In this instance, hovering like a hummingbird, just two feet off the ground. Whereupon, they took off from the grounds of the open-air amphitheater, and headed due southeastward. Shouting in unison, as they did so:

"RALLY-HO, AND AWAY WE GO!"

** tbc**

**NOTES**

_The Impossibles fought crime on CBS, every Saturday morning, from 1966-68. With their exploits usually sandwiching those of the giant superheroic robot, Frankenstein Jr._

ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE, however, were usually syndicated on ABC affiliates. Just like another Jay Ward production called GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE.

_Hal Smith ("Otis/The Andy Griffith Show") was the voice of Coiley._

Don Messick (of "Scooby Doo" fame) was the voice of Multie.

And, the versatile Paul Frees did the voices for Fluey, Big D, and the phantom narrator. 


	9. Chapter 9

**PART 1**

**SOMEWHERE OVER LAKE MICHIGAN (1981)  
**  
The moment Spidey heard the machine gun fire, he burst upward through the trap door that divided the cockpit from the avionics bay. And, just in time, at that. For, as he crawled along the ceiling, from the cockpit to the first-class section, he saw the Iotian Borg drone extend a claw-like instrument from its upper left arm. An instrument that it slowly began to lower towards Wonder Woman's bare left shoulder.

THWIP!

"MMMPH!" gasped the drone, as its head became completely enveloped in artificial webbing.

THWIP!

The drone's legs became webbed together, at the ankles, almost like a bolas spider. This allowed the wall-crawler to pull backwards on the webline, and topple the drone face forward. This was followed by even more webbing than he had used on the Klingon.

"There! That'll teach you not to cop a..."

Before he could finish his taunt, his spider-sense started tingling again. Spinning around, he saw the nanite-infected co-pilot pointing an orange flare gun at him, in a two-handed grip.

THWIP!

The same glob of webbing that gummed up the flare gun's barrel also bound the co-pilot's hands together, leaving Spidey free to pull him forward, and "love-tap" him into unconsciousness. Unfortunately, he had forgotten about Senator Kinsey, who was also still nanite-infected.

The latter silently charged forward, brandishing the empty fire extinguisher like a club. Wonder Woman, however, had recovered from the effects of the CO2 fumes a lot quicker than a normal human. And, after three quick overhead twirls, she let fly the loop of her golden lasso.

In less time than it takes to tell, he was hog-tied within it. Before Spidey could properly thank her, however, his spider-sense began tingling once more!

"Now, what?" he muttered, in exasperation.

"Somebody!" yelled Tony Newman: "Anybody! Get in here, and give us a hand. The pilot's gone berserk! He 's trying to kamikaze us into Sheboygan!!!"

The dirigible flew along, the uniforms of its crew making them look more like sailors of the British navy, circa WWI, than enlisted men of the Potsylvanian Air Force.

Standing look-out duty was Natasha Fatale, her strapless dress as black as her shoulder-length hair. And, just as she was about to sigh in boredom, she saw it, clear as day, through the binoculars.

"Dahlink!" she exclaimed: "There it is!"

"Where? Where?" demanded Boris Badenov, raising his own binoculars to his eyes.

"At four o'clock," she replied, pointing with her left index finger.

"Ah-ha!"

The Potsylvanian master spy grabbed a nearby microphone, and started screaming into it.

"Attention, gunners! Attention, gunners! The hijacked 707 is on an intercept course with us, approaching fast from the southeast. Prepare to fire the...uhm!"

" 'Size-and-mass neutra-lazer,' dahlink."

"Thank you, Natasha. Prepare to fire Dr. Shrinker's thing-a-mabob!" 

**PART 2**

_Now, where was I before the Pizza Hut guy so "foodly" interrupted. Ah, yes!  
_  
Nick Knight listened to the short-but-intense struggle that ensued, following the strange machine gun fire that came from the upper deck of this strange airship. That lasted about five minutes, at most. Then, his ears clogged up; a sensation it had become second-nature for him to ignore in all his centuries of self-flight.

"We're going down," observed Doug Phillips."

"Why don't we go up into the cockpit, and see what's what?" replied his young colleague. As they did so, however, Tony Newman stopped halfway up the ladder.

"Aren't you coming, Mr. Knight?"

"I'm sorry, no. I have a...rare skin condition that makes me allergic to sunlight."

That comment immediately reminded the time-traveling scientist of what he had momentarily forgotten in all the excitement of their new surroundings. Namely, the facial transformation undergone by the Englishman, during his fight with the long-haired alien. A transformation that Tony had initially passed off as a stress-related hallucination. Before he could inquire further, however, Doug urgently called down to him for help.

So, Tony raced up the ladder, and instantly saw that Doug was struggling with the pilot.

"Pull up, Capt. Peachfuzz," shouted the former (reading the latter's name tag): "Pull up!" 

"Negative! This...subsystem...has been...compromised. It must not...merge with...the Collective. This...subsystem...must be...purged."

Tony lent his strength to Doug's efforts. But, Capt. Peachfuzz maintained his downward grip on the helm, with all the strength of a Viking berserker.

"Somebody! Anybody!" Tony yelled: "The pilot's gone crazy. He's trying to kamikaze us into Sheboygan!"

"Oh, merd!" muttered Nick, to himself. Vampire or not, he was still a chevalier at heart. So, he took off the upper half of his tuxedo, and draped it over his head like a shawl. He then flew up into the cockpit, and employed his vampiric strength in the literal unseating of Capt. Peachfuzz.

He accomplished this just as the sunlight streaming through the cockpit's windshield began to make his clothing smolder.

"Uhm! I hate to say this," said the self-proclaimed Spider-Man: "But, your tux has just become a 'smoking' jacket."

Before the eight-century-old vampire could appropriately retort, a strange red glow filled the cockpit. This was followed by a wave of vertigo that made everyone pass out.

When they revived, the first thing they noticed--looking in at them, through the plane's windshield--was a giant eye.

tbc

_"Dr. Shrinker" was one of the rotating segments on the first season of THE KROFFT SUPERSHOW (ABC, 1976-78). The title character was played by the legendary Jay Robinson. Perhaps, second-best known as racist millionaire "Monroe Feather," from the "blaxploitation" classic, THREE THE HARD WAY._


	10. Chapter 10

**PART 10**

**By Carycomic**

Boris and Natasha looked on as the shrinker beam struck the 707. A moment later, they were literally dancing for joy, as they watched the plane begin to shrink.

"It works, dahlink! It works!"

"Yes, Natasha. But, the plane's immobility won't last much longer."

Whereupon, he once more yelled into the microphone.

"Release magno-crane, at once."

Thirty seconds later, a balloon-style gondola containing two men (knotted to one end of a long cable) was lowered through a trap door via winch. The two men aimed at a large horseshoe magnet at the shrunken 707 just as the shrinker beam ceased firing. And, precisely as planned, the plane--now the size of a scale model aircraft--was inexorably drawn to it.

KLANK!

"They have it, dahlink."

"Excellent! Reel her in, boychiks!"

Two minutes later, Boris gazed with undisguised astonishment at the shrunken people just waking up inside the cockpit. He then handed the plane over to Natasha, who was no less amazed.

"How much money do you think Fearless Leader will ask for Senator Kinsey, Boris?"

"Enough to cover Dr. Shrinker's askink price, I imagine. Remember; this was free trial only if we were not satisfied. And, as I am satisfied, Fearless Leader should ecstatical!"

Natasha did not have the heart to spoil his good mood by correcting his grammar. So, she kept silent as Boris ordered the dirigible to return to Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. But, just as the helmsman was carrying out that order, the radar operator alerted the Potsylvanian spies to a fast-approaching object.

Multi-Man, at the flight controls of the Impossi-mobile (in its supersonic jet mode), alerted his two comrades about the strange energy surge that had just registered, temporarily jamming their own radarscope. Then, the interference ended.

"Holy Houdini, fellas! The senator's plane is gone!"

"What?" exclaimed Fluid Man. "How could that happen?"

"I don't know," said Coil Man. "Maybe it ran out of fuel, and ditched."

"I'll put the Impossi-jet on auto-hover, so we can do a visual scan for wreckage," said Multie.

"Good idea!"

A minute later, Coiley stretched himself to his maximum height, while Multie stood on the shoulders of his tulpa images.

"I don't see anything," said the latter. "How about you, Coiley?"

"All I see is that Goodrich blimp headed for Chicago."

"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Fluey, geysering up to their height, to take a look for himself. "Goodrich doesn't have a blimp. Only Goodyear!"

"Suffering Semblances!" exclaimed Coiley. "Follow that 'blim-postor!' "

"RRRRRRRALLY-HO!" chorused the other two.

**PART 2**

Fluey led the way, by power-diving straight into Lake Michigan. Followed by Coiley and Multie, as soon as they were properly re-seated.

Meanwhile, back aboard the Potsylvanian dirigible, Natasha was in the process of using a bottle can opener to peel back the top of the shrunken 707. But, just as she was about to extract Senator Kinsey (after exchanging the bottle opener for tweasers), the radar operator called out once more.

"Unidentified aircraft has now changed course. It pursues us!"

"Battle stations! Repeat: battle stations!" yelled Boris into the p.a. microphone. "All hands prepare to repel boarders!"

That was when Fluid Man did the impossible. Having absorbed some additional liquid mass from the lake itself, he suddenly grew to a height of one hundred feet...right in front of the dirigible.

"RALLY-HEY!" he thundered. "FANCY MEETING YOU HERE."

"Rally-ho!" replied Coil Man, as he literally sprang into action.

A minute later, the dirigible's engines ground to a halt, as Coiley's arms tangled up the portside propeller, while his legs tangled up the starboard-side propeller.

"Rally-ho ho!" exclaimed Multie, using his tulpa images to bridge the gap between the dirigible and the hovering Impossi-jet. Said images appearing with the usual sound effect (halfway between a cat's purr and the clatter of falling dominoes).

"You might as well give up," chorused the Multies. "You're surrounded!"

** tbc  
**  
_ "Goodrich doesn't have a blimp," was the catch-phrase used in Goodrich Tire commercials during the early 1970's. Putting a positive spin, as it were, on the frequent confusion between them and their similarly-named competitor._

Tulpas are what Tibetan Buddhists call mental images psychokinetically given form and substance. Sort of an artificially solid psychic hologram. Which is the only feasible explanation for how Multi-Man could make so many "clones" of himself, clothes and all! 


	11. Chapter 11

**PART 11**

**Written by Carycomic**

**With permission and blessings from Ordinaryguy2**

**1313 MOCKINGBIRD HEIGHTS  
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA (1977)  
**  
"Hi, Grandpa!" Eddie Munster called out, as he descended the cellar steps to his maternal grandfather's lab.

"Eddie, m'boy! You're back, already?"

"Yep! Uncle Gilbert had the electric eels ready and waiting, as soon as he saw Spot looking for a place to land."

"Excellent! Just put them in the aquarium, until I'm ready."

Eddie did as instructed, being careful to put on rubber gloves before opening the insulated box.

"So, what are you planning to do, again?"

"Well, as I told you before. That cyborg your brother-in-law found has the ability to inject any living  
thing with strange microscopic robots that it calls 'nanites.' These nanites can then turn their host into a hive-minded organism, like bees or wasps. What I plan to do is short-circuit its original programming, and make it more amiable. Like your Pop!"

As if on cue, Herman Munster now descended the stairs.

"Oh, goody! The gang's all here. Ready whenever you are, Grandpa."

"Just lie down and strap yourself in, Herman. I'm just about finished hooking up Herkimer."

"Herkimer?" chorused Eddie and his father, in unison.

"Yeah! I named him after a gargoyle I used to play poker with in St. Petersburg. A real...stone face. Heeheehahaha!"

Seeing that he was the only one who found that funny, Sam Dracula muttered something about everyone being critics, before turning to Herman's slab. The latter smiled as he helped his father-in-law connect the cables to the electrodes on his neck. After which, the vampiric scientist gave his grandson a pair of copper wires. And, at the end of each wire was a fishhook containing a very smelly sardine.

"Tie each of these to the cable hanging over the aquarium. But, don't drop the hooks into the water, until I say 'now!' I don't know how long the sardines will stay attached before the eels burn off the glue."

Eddie nodded his understanding. A few moments later, after confirming that all the connections between Herman and Herkimer were secure, Sam Dracula exclaimed:

"Now!"

The electric eels instantly attacked the sardines, which instantly sent a current up through the copper wires into the main cable. This, in turn, made every light in the house flicker on and off. But, without causing a power drain in the surrounding houses that might lead to awkward questions being asked by the local utility company.

After five minutes of this, the electric eels were finally able to withdraw the sardines from the hooks. Whereupon, the lights stopped flickering.

"Did it work, Grandpa?" asked Eddie.

"Only one way to find out. How do you feel, Herkimer?"

The Borg drone (formerly known as "5 of 6") sat up and replied:

"I feel like a million...volts. A-haw-haw-haw-haw-haw!"

"Well, what do you know?" said Herman: "He has my sense of humor!"

"Eh!" replied his father-in-law, with a shrug: "Nothing is perfect."

**PART 2 **

**MEANWHILE, ABOVE LAKE MICHIGAN, ON A PARALLEL-EARTH...  
**  
Boris Badenov yelled into the microphone, ordering the forward gunners to fire the shrinker beam, once again. But, when the Multi-Men directly in front of it heard this, they receded left and right, like a living curtain. This, in turn, gave the giant Fluid Man a clear shot. A high-pressure stream of water "whooshed" from his right index finger and through the open gun port.

This had the double effect of knocking the Potsylvanian airmen flat on their dupas, while simultaneously short-circuiting all the electrical components in the shrinker beam.

"WELL?" demanded Fluey: "HAVE YOU HAD ENOUGH?"

"Glub! Glub! Y--glub!--Yes!" yelled the battery sergeant: "We--glub!--surrender!"

Whereupon, the Multies used the open gun port to board the dirigible, and subdue the rest of the crew. By the time they reached the bridge, they saw that Coil Man had disentangled himself from the propellers and ensnared Boris and Natasha.

"Good work, Coiley! Now, to get this blimp to Chicago."

"WAY OF AHEAD OF YOU, FELLAS," thundered Fluey.

Consequently, he remained giant-sized until he had pushed the dirigible to within one mile of the Windy City. He then used high-pressure streams of water to get the propellers going again, before returning the remainder of the lake water he'd absorbed back to its rightful source.

His fellow Impossibles made sure that the dirigible touched down within a certain ring of police cars at O'Hare International Airport.

"Congratulations, guys!" exclaimed Col. Trevor, stepping forward: "But, where are Wonder Woman and Senator Kinsey?"

"Right here, sir," replied Fluid Man. He then presented the shrunken jetliner and its unwilling passengers (minus Nick Knight, who had returned to the avionics bay).

"What...? How...? stammered the IADC veteran, upon seeing a three-inch tall Wonder Woman wave up at him.

"They were shrunk by some kind of laser beam, sir. Unfortunately, when it was fired at me, I thought it was an ordinary death ray and fried its circuits!"

"Oh, great! Does that mean they're all stuck at this size, forever?"

"Forgive me for eavesdropping," said a voice from above: "But, maybe I can give you hand with your--haw! haw! haw!--little problem."

Everyone looked skyward, and gasped. After a whole day of strange things and events, this definitely had to be the strangest sight, yet.

They saw what resembled an armor-plated Frankenstein monster riding atop a flying dragon.

** tbc**

_A gentle reminder, dear readers: The first half of the chapter takes place on the parallel-Earth where Pugsley Addams had married Tabitha Stevens. And, where his sister Wednesday had married Eddie Munster. Hence, it is literally a different world from the one in which Herman Munster and Gomez Addams are merely golf buddies. And, the electrotherapy conducted by Sam "Grandpa" Dracula was Pugsley's idea._

Eddie's Uncle Gilbert (who is, presumably, one of Lily Munster's numerous brothers-in-law) is none other than the Creature from the Black Lagoon. And, the gargoyle referenced by Grandpa is a nod to the noirish Disney series about winged defenders of the night who spend their days--quite literally--petrified.


	12. Chapter 12

**PART 12**

**By Carycomic**

**ACT 1**

**THE PHANTOM NARRATOR:** As we saw last time, Herkimer (formerly "5 of 6" of the Borg) had had his nanites reprogrammed by Sam "Grandpa" Dracula, Herman Munster's father-in-law. As a result, he not has Herman's happy-go-luckiness. He also partly resembles him!

Herkimer has since used the holographic replay, built into the "monocle" over his left eye, to show the Munsters the inter-dimensional threat represented by the rest of the Borg Collective.

"4 of 6 is particularly dangerous, as he comes from a planet that emulates the gangsters of the Roaring Twenties! Unfortunately, I lost him while we were tumbling through one of those chrono-spatial wormholes."

"Maybe Spot can help you find him," replied Eddie Munster.

The young man explained how, after years of being a four-footed pedestrian, his pet dragon had suddenly sprouted wings!

"We immediately called the vet. And, according to Dr. Bombay (and his pet macaw, Ms. Polynesia), Spot is from another planet! A world called Pern that got destroyed by some giant alien named Galactus. His parents managed to fly through time and space to this world, during the Ice Age, before dying of exhaustion."

"Hmmm! Psionic teleportation; a rare talent, indeed. Very well, Eddie. If Spot doesn't mind, I'll be glad to accept your offer."

**ACT 2**

**THE PHANTOM NARRATOR:** And, so it was that Herkimer was brought to the Chicago of a parallel-Earth by an orphan Pernese dragon.

Normally, this would have required Eddie Munster as a telepathic intermediary. But, Herkimer was a half-Vulcan Betazoid! And, now that his free will had been restored, his own psionic talent was swiftly coming back to him, as well.

This, in turn, made explaining himself much, much easier to the superheroes present when he and Spot landed at O'Hare International Airport.

"Well?" asked Col. Trevor (rather impatiently) after Herkimer had spent twenty minutes examining the short-circuited shrinker beam.

"It's reparable," replied the ex-drone: "But, while I have the residual Borg know-how to fix it, I'll require a pair of hands more nimble than mine to do the actual engineering. Do you know anyone who fits that bill?"

"As a matter of fact, yes."

Two hours later, Herkimer was being introduced to Prof. Joseph Conroy and his son Busby. A red-headed youngster, about eight years old, who preferred to be called "Buzz."

"He's a child prodigy," explained Col. Trevor: "In fact, he created most of the programming followed by our main fram, the I.R.A.C. 2000."

"Excellent! Here's a list of the items we'll need."

Meanwhile, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale languished in an airport security detention room, personally guarded by the Impossibles.

"Well, Natasha? It looks like this is it."

"Too true, dahlink. You know how Fearless Leader punishes consistent failures."

Boris nodded. He pointed his right index finger at his head and mouthed the word, "bang."

"Not necessarily," replied Multi-Man, looking at his two fellow Impossibles (who nodded their approval).

"Have you heard of the Notah Republic?" asked Coil Man.

Boris and Natasha shook their heads in unison. So, Fluid Man told them about its status as a newly-independent nation in the western Pacific. He added that, not having been legally recognized as yet, they had no extradition treaty with the United States...or anyone else.

"You mean," replied Natasha: "...if Boris and I defected to them, they might grant us asylum?"

"I don't see how they could refuse," said Fluey: "If Potsylvania tries to force your return, by pointing out the lack of UN recognition, Uncle Sam is bound to intervene on the Republic's behalf. Just to keep it free of Iron Curtain influences!"

"What do you think, dahlink?"

"I think," said Boris (with a slight leer): "...that you have always looked hot in floral-print saronks."

Taking that as a "yes," Coil Man instantly contacted Big D. And, hearing what had been discussed, the latter agreed to pull some bureaucratic strings.

Thirty minutes later, the Impossi-jet was blazing its way toward a beautiful sunset (which two smooching Potsylvanians were ironically ignoring).

** tbc**

_Most people will no doubt remember Dr. Bombay as the personal physician of Samantha Stevens and her family on BEWITCHED._

While Miss Polynesia was the blue-and-gold macaw that taught Rex Harrison how to talk to the animals in the original (and, to me, undeniably far superior) DOCTOR DOOLITTLE.

And, as the evidently psychic Harry2 pointed out, Buzz Conroy is the boy genius who invented Frankenstein, Jr.

Need I add that Anne McCaffrey is the literary genius who created the "Dragonriders of Pern" novels? Or, that Galactus is the Marvel Comics character who was recently featured in FF: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER (as a sentient energy being who travels via interstellar smog bank)? 


	13. Chapter 13

**A MORE TANGLED WEB**

**Written entirely by Carycomic with Ordinaryguy2's blessing**

**O'HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,  
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS (1981)**

**PART 1**

"That's a strange-looking pebble, Master Conroy," said the ex-Borg drone known as Herkimer.

"Please!" replied the carrot-topped youngster: "Just call me 'Buzz.' And, this 'pebble,' as you call it, is actually a transuranic element that has yet to be found on the periodic chart. For want of a better term, it's been dubbed 'rhetonium.' "

" 'Rhetonium?' Why such an odd name?"

"Because, it was brought back to Earth just last year from a rogue asteroid that was secretly investigated and explored by the NASA spacecraft, Pegasus 3. Captain Frank Chapman (USAF) commanding. He claimed that it was inhabited by a civilization of people only six inches tall! And, that they referred to the asteroid as the planet Rheton!"

"Most extraordinary!"

"That's not all," continued Buzz: "It confirms his story in that it possesses size-altering properties when properly energized."

"Well, let's see what it can do for this poor jetliner and its occupants."

While that discussion was going on, Spiderman and Nick Knight were conversing with Koltar the Klingon aboard the aforementioned aircraft.

"I was not aware you were wearing a costume during my two attacks upon you. When I first saw you, I thought you might be a renegade member of the Xindi bug caste!"

"No harm done, Koltar," replied Spidey: "But, what about you, Mr. Knight? What's the explanation for your superhuman abilities? Genetic experimentation with vampire bat DNA? A la that hematologist, Michael Morbius, in Europe?"

"Something like that, Spiderman; yes."

Nick was lying, of course. He had no idea who Michael Morbius was. But, confirming the erroneous guess would help him to preserve the Masquerade.

**PART 2**

The shrunken jetliner was brought to a cordoned-off hangar. There, it was subjected to the reddish-colored beam of the size-and-mass-neutra-lazer, once more. Of course, it had been modified to have the reverse effect. And, that is precisely what happened.

Inflating the emergency rubber chute, the strange assortment of passengers disembarked. Wonder Woman came first, carrying the webbed up bodies of Captain Peachfuzz and his co-pilot. Then, came Spiderman, carrying the webbed up body of Senator Kinsey.

All three men were still alive. Yet, they were also still infected with Borg nanites. And, the source of those nanites was carried off by the plane by Nick Knight. Right behind Doug Phillips, Tony Newman, and Koltar the Klingon.

The assimilated Iotian quickly sensed Herkimer's presence and looked at him.

"5...of 6! This one...requires...assistance. Why...are you...not...responding?"

"Because I've been reprogrammed, dear boy! And, now, so will you."

Whereupon, Herkimer extended his nano-injection claw...and used it to stab 4 of 6.

"Not to worry, folks," he said, in response to the startled gasps around him: "Not to worry. He'll wake up in about an hour, and be good as new. Better, even! Because, he'll be a blank slate. With no memory of his crooked past."

"Crooked?" echoed Buzz Conroy: "What do you mean, 'crooked?' "

So, Herkimer gave him a carefully-edited lecture on Iotia's culture. And, as he listened, Buzz rubbed his chin very thoughtfully.

"Hmmm! Maybe, if you left him here, I could give him a more useful purpose in life."

"I wouldn't doubt it. Sounds like a capital idea!"

"What about you? Where do you go from here?"

"I've left-over Borg memories of a planet called Velantia III, with a winged race of reptilian sapients. Some of Spot's people might have fled there, after the destruction of Pern by Galactus. So, that's where we'll go, next!"

**tbc **

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**

_Planet Rheton and its miniature inhabitants were first introduced in THE PHANTOM PLANET (1961). A low-budget cult classic set in what was then the futuristic year of 1980!_

_The Masquerade is a reference to the White Wolf RPG's collectively known as "Vampire: The Masquerade" and their one-shot TV adaptation, KINDRED: THE EMBRACED._

_And, Velantia III is the homeworld of Worsel; a dragon-like being in the "Lensmen" novels of E.E. "Doc" Smith. The Lensmen are seen by really, really dedicated fans of sf as being the inspiration for the more famous Jedi Knights and Green Lantern Corps. _

_Michael Morbius, the "Living Vampire," is one Spidey-villain I'd like to see in the next sequel. Perhaps, played by William Forsythe, from the JOHN DOE series? _

_The Xindi, for those who might not have watched the final two seasons of STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE, were a race composed of five castes. Insectoid; reptilian; amphibian; avian; and sloth-like. With the avian caste having become extinct long before the 22nd century (no doubt due to spfx budget constraints; lol)._

_And, yes, the Iotian Borg drone goes on to become Frankenstein, Jr. _


	14. Chapter 14

**Part 14**

**Written by Carycomic**

_I am told that Carycomic likes reviews and you can post them here or e-mail Carycomic at Carycomic at aol dot com (sorry, this site doesn't like me typing up _

_e-mail addresses for some reason)._

**Act 1**

**THE PLANET EMERAUD (1,000 LIGHT-YEARS FROM EARTH)  
**  
"I'm Gary 7 of the Celestial Intervention Agency," said the black-clad humanoid male, before he introduced the astral image standing next to him as his leader, Rassilon of Gallifrey.

"I am pleased to meet you," said the latter: "What, pray tell, was your name before your assimilation by the Borg?"

"I was born Utsui Koji, on Alpha Centauri A-4, before my shipmates and I were captured by the Borg while en route to FGC 892-IV, to do some covert cultural observation. But, I've grown used to being called 'Herkimer,' since the restoration of my free will."

The two beings standing before him smiled at this eccentricity, yet agreed. Then, they grew serious as they told him why he had been transported to their planet, following his parting of the ways with Spot Munster on Velantia III.

"There is a being who intends to exacerbate the problem started by the entity you know as Q," warned Rassilon: "A renegade Megan like the infamous Redjac, and with just as many aliases. Right now, though, he resides on a parallel-Earth where we have no resident counterparts. So, we need you--and the interdimensional technology the Borg built into you--to journey there, and intercede on our behalf."

"Now, hold on there!" exclaimed Herkimer: "It's not that I'm unwilling to help. It's just that my sliding tech is a lot more random than the psionic teleportation Pernese dragons are genetically engineered with."

"We're well aware of that," replied Gary 7: "That's why, if you agree to help us, we will we equip you with this."

He held up a device that resembled a Terran digital watch.

"This is the Globe Meter. Wear it, and it will interface with your Borg implants. Enhancing their performance. And, reducing all of them to nanobotic size, so you can once again look fully human. It can also serve as both energy sensor and universal translator. Last, but not least? It can allow you to corporeally fly through space at warp speed!"

Intrigued, Herkimer put the device around the wrist of his left arm. Almost instantly, he was transformed into a semblance of his original self! Albeit, with one major difference.

Turning to look at himself in an ornamental pool of water, he saw that he now wore a golden unitard with a matching, ninja-style mask; red boots; a V-shaped purple collar; and a black antenna over his forehead.

"Wow! I look like a cross between Superman and 'My Favorite Martian.' "

Gary 7 reminded him that those were fictional characters.

"But," he added: "With the Globe Meter, you'll be a true man of the stars!"

"All we ask, in return, is your help," said Rassilon: "Will you give it?"

"Sure! Why not? What's this renegade Megan's name?"

"As I said, he has had many. However, he seems to prefer aliases with the initials 'R.F.' And, presently, those initials stand for 'Reinhold Frankenstein.' Scientific director of Project: Arrowhead."

**Act 2**

**HANGAR 18, O'HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,**

**CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, USA (1981) **

Herkimer--formerly 5 of 6, of the Borg--had no sooner disappeared into the sky, atop the Pernese dragon called "Spot," than Steve Trevor suddenly remembered something.

"Hey! What about Senator Kinsey and the two pilots? They're still afflicted with that weird gray skin condition!"

"Not to worry, Colonel," said a new voice: "I can help decontaminate their systems."

Everyone turned to see a silver-haired man in white standing behind them.

"Andros???" exclaimed Wonder Woman.

Steve immediately recognized the name, from one of his late father's anecdotes about World War II. But, before he could say anything, everyone suddenly seemed to freeze in place! Everyone, that is, except for Wonder Woman, Nick Knight, Doug Philips, Tony Newman, Spiderman, and Koltar the Klingon.

"What did you to them?" demanded the latter, half-crouching in preparation to attack.

"Merely a localized chronostasis field. Nothing more."

"It's nice to see you again, Andros," said the Amazing Amazon: "I think there are some facts you need to know before you attempt..."

"No need, Princess. 'Herkimer' explained everything to my superiors at the Celestial Intervention Agency. So, please, stay where you are while I initiate decontamination."

Andros them touched a seemingly gold medallion hanging from his neck, while simultaneously whistling a strange-yet-lovely tune. As he did so, the complexions of the three nanite-infected men gradually returned to normal.

"What sorcery...?" Nick began to exclaim.

"Not sorcery, Mr. De Brabant. Psycho-sonics. A more advanced form of the subliminal hypnosis used within Christmas music to prevent shoplifting in your Terran department stories. In this case, I persuaded the microscopic robots within these three gentlemen to return to their original host. The Borg drone known as 4 of 6."

"I'm afraid that still sounds like sorcery to him, Andros."

Suddenly, there were two more newcomers in the hangar! None other than Dr. Strange and Thomas Lindmer. And, it was the latter (still wearing his hooded Green Lama robe) who had smilingly made that reply.

Nick Knight--nee Nicola De Brabant--squinted at Lindmer with in puzzlement.

"Do I know you?"

"In a manner of speaking. Though, we have yet to meet, officially, from your point of view!"

Before Nick could ask what Lindmer was talking about, everything around him literally became a blur. When he could see again, he found himself on the floor of some ship's cargo hold...amidst a whole slough of corpses.

"Cor blimey!" exclaimed a young sailor (Cockney British by the sound of him): "Captain! We've got a live one down here. Another survivor from the Titanic!"

**Act 3**

"Hey!" exclaimed Spidey: "What did you do to him?"

"Merely returned him to his proper time period," replied Lindmer. He then assured Doug and Tony that Nick Knight would have no memory of the things he had seen in the late 20th century.

"How can you be so sure?" demanded Tony.

"Because, from my point of view, I first met him in 1966, when he was searching for a rare Sanskrit manuscript called the Abbarat. And, he had no memory -or, should I say, foreknowledge- of me, at all! Ergo, I must have already implanted a hypno-telepathic block within his mind, as I did just now."

"Does this mean you have the power to return us to our proper time period?" asked Doug, rather hopefully.

Lindmer nodded.

"And, Koltar, too?" added Spidey, just barely resisting the temptation to imitate the Good Witch of the North.

"On that note, I'd have to say; 'yes and no.' "

"Yes and no?" echoed the Klingon, with a growl. "Allow me, Master," said Dr. Strange. The latter then explained that Koltar came from an alternate-future in a parallel-universe. Consequently, someone from that same universe would have to help the Klingon return there.

Whereupon, the two mages sat down in the yoga lotus position; joined hands; and chanted. After what seemed like an eternity (yet, was probably no more than five minutes; tops!), a strange figure appeared in the center of the two-man circle. Like Andros of the Celestial Intervention Agency, he was dressed all in white. He was, however, taller and thinner. With a face and hands as golden as his hair.

"By Kahless!" exclaimed the Klingon: "A Tau Ceti Traveler?"

"Quite right, Koltar of Sherman's Planet. These good gentlemen have informed me of your problem. And, with their help, I will return you to our universe, only an hour after you left."

"What of my father; Yl'gu? He is missing, as well."

"Worry not! My apprentice, Wesley Crusher, has already rescued him from the Area 51 of another parallel-Earth. He shall be waiting for us, at Deep Space 9, when we arrive."

And, with that, there was a brief shroud of darkness as every light in Hangar 18 went dark. When the lights came back on, Koltar and the Traveler were nowhere to be seen.

** To Be Concluded **

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**

_OK, folks! My so-called logic is a little more convoluted than usual with this info. So, please bear with me._

Rassilon of Gallifrey was the Founding Father of the Time Lords on the original DOCTOR WHO series. Seen only once, as an astrally projected head in the "Five Doctors" anniversary special. But, very frequently mentioned.

The Celestial Intervention Agency, on the other hand, was mentioned only once. During the two-part Fourth Doctor story that served as a bridge between the departure of Sara Jane Smith and the introduction of Leela the Wild Woman (not to mention, the corpse-like Master).

Gary 7, meanwhile, was the Man In Black first introduced on the STAR TREK: TOS episode "Assignment: Earth." He and his shapeshifting feline, Isis, came to Earth as trouble-shooters for a mysterious race of altrusitic alien beings bent on making sure promising-yet-still-primitive planets (like ours) didn't self-destruct prematurely. Considering all the wars mentioned in the pre-Starfleet history of Federation Earth, I think his efforts had mixed results, at best. Which is probably why the spin-off series with this premise was never further developed.

And, anyone who considers themselves a true fan of sf will remember that--in addition to playing Andros in "Judgement From Space," on ABC's version of WONDER WOMAN--Tim O' Connor also played Dr. Elias Huer on NBC's BUCK ROGERS. Not to mention, Ambassador Briam of Krios on "The Perfect Mate" episode of STAR TREK: TNG.

Now, for that twisted logic I mentioned. In the late 1950's, the Shintoho Company produced a series of b/w, live-action children's space operas. Similar in their campiness to the color episodes of George Reeves' SUPERMAN series. The character was known, in Japanese, as "Super Giant." But, the American distributors of these films must have thought it was some dirty in-joke reference to the stocking-stuffed waistline of the title character's unitard!

So, in the dubbed American releases, he was referred to as "Starman" (played by one Ken Utsui). Punisher of interstellar evil-doers on behalf of the High Council of the Emerald Planet!

The trouble is, when I first saw these films, as a kid, the only Starman I'd previously heard of was the Golden Age DC superhero. The one whose arch-enemy was a semi-invisible man called "the Mist." So, once again unable to resist synchronicity, I have strongly hinted at the Japanese Starman being sent to an other-dimensional Maine to try and prevent Steven King's version of...THE MIST!

What's with the use of Koji, as his first name? It's a veiled reference to Koji Furuhata, who played the title daikaiju in FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD (one of my favorite non-Godzilla Toho flicks).

And, "Reinhold Frankenstein?" It's partially a reference to Steven King's "Randall Flagg" character (from THE STAND and other works). And, partially a reference to a name I came across at Snood999's UNOFFICIAL HANDBOOK TO THE MARVEL UNIVERSE APPENDIX website.

He was hoping Marvel Comics might use it as the name for another fictional descendant of Dr. Victor Frankenstein, trying to help the infamous monster created by the latter. But, as this is the same publishing company who thinks it was a good idea to kill off Steve "Capt. America" Rogers, I will not hold my breath waiting to see if they're that smart.  


_Eric Menyuk, one of the runners-up for the role of Commander Data, made a good-enough impression that the writers of STAR TREK: TNG reportedly created the role of the Traveler just for him!_

The Traveler was a mysterious, altruistic alien (anyone noticing a pattern, here?) from the Tau Ceti star system, who could move through time and space as easily as a Horta moves through rock. And, in his third and final appearance on the show, he persuaded Wesley Crusher--gifted with similar-yet-still- latent abilities--as his apprentice.

_  
In any case: I hope everyone paid attention. Because, there just might be a pop quiz at the end of the next chapter. ;-)_


	15. Chapter 15

**PART 15**

**By Carycomic **

**ACT 1**

**HANGAR 18, O'HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT  
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS (1981)  
**  
Wonder Woman walked Andros back to his flying saucer. Reminiscing with him about the first time they had met.

"It seems like the only other time we've met, that was a crisis, too."

"The Fates do seem to work it out that way," he agreed.

"Do you think your next visit can be purely a social call?"

"I don't know, Your Highness. My work for the CIA is almost literally never-ending." While they continued to converse, along these lines, three pairs of eyes watched them very carefully. One pair looked like headlights on a white Volkswagen with the number "53" painted on its frontward-facing trunk. The other two pairs belonged to Hellboy of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense; and his liaison with the Temporal Enforcement Commission, Agent Nick Walker.

Formerly known as Nick Knight!

The latter had used Sunblock 3000 to move about during the now-rapidly waning daylight hours. And, he had spied on the weird gathering in the hangar from its rafters. The chronostasis field had not affected him due to his own unique status. The moment he got back to the Volkswagen (which had been equipped with a Kleindast drive), he notified his old friend and temporary partner about what he had seen and heard.

"Heh!" guffawed Hellboy: "That's why I prefer monster-hunting. All this paradoxical stuff gives me a headache!"

"The important thing is that Senator Kinsey will survive to run for POTUS."

"Is that really a good thing?"

"In terms of making Defense Secretary Keller his VP? Yes. Without Keller as go-between, the other Transformers will never trust humans as much as they trust Optimus Prime. And, if Ares manages to ally the Wraith and the Replicators, Earth will need all the help it can get!"

"Then, let's head back to the future, and inform our respective bosses that everything is AOK."

"You heard him, Herbie."

The sentient VW beeped in the affirmative, as he began to rev his engine.

"Flux capacitor's to power," reported Nick: "Oscillation over-thruster's to speed."

A minute later, Herbie peeled away from the spot where he had been clandestinely parked. And, when he reached eighty-eight miles per hour, he and his passengers vanished. With the only witnesses being a startled and puzzled Andros and Wonder Woman. 

**ACT 2**

**TIME ENFORCEMENT COMMISSION HQ.**

**WASHINGTON, D.C. (DEC. 7, 2008)**

There was a brief appearance of a fireball before Herbie rematerialized in the underground garage of the TEC. Present to view his arrival was Capt. Eugene Matuzek, commanding officer of the TEC for the last decade and a half.

He had been personally handpicked for the assignment after a distinguished career with DC's Finest. Of course, the very nature of that assignment precluded him from bragging about it! So, he had to settle for occasionally being mistaken for the hilarious Afro-haired father on the sitcom called THAT 70'S SHOW.

Hellboy struggled his way out of the back seat, while Agent Nick Walker flaunted the ease with which he exited the driver's side.

"So! Everything go all right, boys?"

They both nodded.

"There was definitely a brief danger to Kinsey back when he was still a senator," said Nick.

"But, it just as definitely wasn't supernatural," added Hellboy.

"Heh!" snorted Matuzek: "The VP will be glad to hear that!"

J.V. Keller, former Secretary of Defense during Pres. Kinsey's first term of office, had become Vice-President during his second, for the level-headedness he had shown during the Decepticon crisis the previous summer. And, hopefully, that same level-headedness would come in handy when he and Wonder Woman began new negotiations with the Tok'Ra.

Little did he know that the woman standing to his right, at Stargate Command's Gate Room, was that self-same Amazon princess; Diana Prince, Asst. Director of the IADC!

Upon learning from her daughter, that she would not be returning to Paradise Island, despite the end of the Cold War, Queen Hippolyta had correctly guessed that it was due to an ever-growing fondness for Colonel Steve Trevor.

This compelled her to visit her daughter in person (albeit, discretely) to try and dissuade her.

"It won't work, child. He's mortal. You are not. Especially, as you have the blood of Hercules flowing through your veins!"

"Precisely why I'm still needed here, in Man's World, Mother."

It had come as quite a shock to Diana when she had been told, upon her return from WWII, that she had not been magically incarnated from a statue of clay, like the legendary Galatea. Rather, Hippolyta had made up that story to cover up the fact that she had been impregnated by Hercules, himself!

When her daughter had demanded why she had never been told this earlier, Hippolyta replied that Hera--Hercules' stepmother, and Queen of the Olympian Goa'uld--would have sent her Jaffa to kill them both. And, possibly, the rest of the Amazons, as well.

"That was the real reason I brought our people here, from Greece, after we helped drive all the Egyptian Goa'uld off Earth. To keep us all safe from retaliation."

Fifty years later, Hippolyta found that old excuse being used against her.

"The world grows smaller everyday, Mother. The fact that men have landed thrice on our island, during this century, proves that! We can't hide on that island, forever. We need to face the dangers of the outside world by forming new alliances with some of its leading powers. And, despite all its faults, the United States is the best of them."

Now, here it was, the early 21st century. And, mankind--or, at least, the American government--had developed the ability to travel through time as well as space! The former as the result of Project: Tic-Toc, and its successor, Project: Quantum Leap. The latter as the result of the Stargate Project.

It was through the use of the Stargate that Team SG-1 had learned of the Replicators. Hive-minded robots that normally built themselves to look like spiders. But, their "mother" (a gynoid, or female android, named Reese) had originally programmed these toys to be self-replicating. In order to reduce maintenance and repair time.

Eventually, however, the "toys" themselves modified this program, allowing them to expand off-world, where they encountered other extra-terrestrial races. Races whose technology they adapted and enhanced; often to the detriment of the former!

Some of these Replicators had learned how to take on a humanoid form, similar to the no-longer functioning Reese. Based in the Pegasus Galaxy, they called themselves the Asurans. And, according to the renegade Goa'uld known as Ba'al, Diana's Uncle Ares was trying to form an alliance between them and the quasi-vampiric Wraiths!

"He means to fill the power vacuum left by your destruction of the Ori. And, once he has control of the Pegasus Galaxy, he will advance toward the Milky Way."

It was decided, by President Kinsey, that one should fight fire with fire and machines with machines. So, he ordered VP Keller to form a triple counter-alliance between Earth, the Autobots, and the Tok'Ra.

"The Tok'Ra have as much to lose, from Ares' efforts, as we do. So, by helping us locate the rest of Optimus Prime's fellow Transformers, they'll really be helping themselves."

Keller could not dispute the logic of this. So, he had contacted Wonder Woman, via Asst. Director Prince, and told her of Kinsey's (unusually bright) idea. Then, they contacted Optimus Prime, out in Los Angeles. And, he, too, saw the wisdom in that idea.

Unfortunately, the idea was temporarily put on hold by the TEC, who had detected a chronological discrepancy, or "blip," in 1981. A blip that had involved Keller's boss.

Capt. Matuzek, himself, informed Kinsey that the crisis was now over. And, the President, in turn, hotlined Stargate Command, at Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado. He told them to stand down from red alert. And, that Keller and Prince were now free to take the Tok'Ra delegation topside to meet the Autobots.

When Kinsey finished issuing that order, he hung up the receiver. Resulting in Dr. Sam Beckett leaping out of the President's body and back into his own!

**ACT 3**

**CIVIC CITY, CALIFORNIA (1981)  
**  
Professor Conroy looked at the giant robot that the army engineers had built under his genius son's supervision.

"Am I mistaken, Buzz? Or, have you had this robot constructed to resemble the Frankenstein monster?"

"No mistake, Dad. The cyborg who called himself 'Herkimer' resembled one. And, so did the other cyborg once those nanites finished reprogramming him. But, this full-fledged mechanical body is more easily controllable, via my new RADAR ring."

" 'Radar' ring?" his father echoed, in puzzlement.

"In this case, the acronym stands for 'Remote Activation Device And Range-finder.' "

"I see. Am I to understand, then, that you'll be uploading the second drone's tabula rasa consciousness into the robot?"

"Precisely. I've even decided on a new name for him: 'Frankenstein, Junior!' "

"A catchy misnomer. But, what will you do with the cyborg's original body?"

"I'm donating it to that new Detroit-based corporation: Omni Consumer Products."

Meanwhile, back in New York City, Thomas Lindmer and Dr. Strange were thanking Spiderman for all his help, prior to returning Doug Phillips and Tony Newman to their proper time period.

"Your Great-Aunt Jean would be proud of you," Lindmer added.

"My...? Hey, wait a minute! How did...?"

But, it was too late. The time traveling quartet had faded out.

So, Spidey asked Wong how Lindmer could possibly have known his paternal grandfather's sister had been named "Jean." Wong, however, could only smile and shrug in response.

** The End?  
**** Author's Notes  
**  
_ Omni Consumer Products was the fictional conglomerate first introduced in the original ROBOCOP movie. And, "Sunblock 3000" was a fictional product advertised in ROBOCOP 2._

Herbie the sentient VW was introduced in the Disney comedy classic THE LOVEBUG (c. 1969). And, for all I know, he was the great-great grandson of CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG!

The Wraiths are those white-haired, gray-skinned, quasi-vampiric aliens introduced by STARGATE: ATLANTIS. And, I'm pretty sure I over-explained the Replicators.

Ares ought to be familiar to fans of HERCULES: TLG and XENA: WP. The two-hour pilot that first introduced Kevin Sorbo to the world, featured a pre-TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL Roma Downey as Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons! So, I thought: why not have Lynda Carter's version of Wonder Woman be Herc's birth-daughter?

Ares being a Goa'uld was inspired by Zeus being the son of Chronos in Greek mythology. So, I thought: why not make Ares the grandson of Chronos the System Lord?

[Hey! I told you I was a synchronicity freak! ;-D

Nick Knight becoming a TIMECOP seemed like a natural for an eight-hundred year old vampire. Especially, after the lackluster series finale of FOREVER KNIGHT. And, furthermore, I cannot believe Nick would never have crossed paths with Hellboy!

Professor Hans Kleindast was the inventor of the time sled used in TIMECOP. And, I like to imagine he combined the "flux capacitor" (invented by BTF's Prof. Brown) and the "oscillation over-thruster (invented by BUCKAROO BANZAI) to do it.

Last, but not least? Jean Parker was the socialite girlfriend of Jethro Dumont, in all those "Green Lama" adventures. Sort of his own personal Lois Lane; except for the fact that he apparently shared the secret of his dual identity with her right from the start. 


End file.
